The Crippling Joke
by QueenCaroline
Summary: Post The Killing Joke, Barbara and Jim Gordon's reaction to Barbara's paralysing injury.


Hey this is just a little Jim/Barbara father daughter fic I thought I would write, I just fancied writing the reaction to Barbara finding out she'll never walk again post The Killing Joke and her dad's reaction and feelings etc. If you've read my other story Batman: Laugh It Up you'll notice a similar piece in Chapter 7, this is kind of an extended version of that…If that makes sense! This is right after The Killing Joke by Alan Moore, ANGSTY. Please review!

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – BARBARA GORDON'S ROOM

_You'll never fly again _was the first thought that entered Barbara Gordon's head as she awoke from the drug induced slumber she had been in.

She groaned in pain as the painkillers started to wear off, no doubt a nurse would be in soon enough, cheery and bright eyed to give her some more drugs to dull the pain…She couldn't stand the nurses in this hospital, all happy and smiley, they told her everything would be alright and she should stay "positive", she couldn't see the positives in been stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Barbara looked around the sparse hospital room, it was bleak and lifeless, the only furniture was a small bedside table and a hospital chair. She sighed quietly as her eyes located a glass of water on the bedside table.

_Ignore the pain, ignore the pain, _she repeated the words over and over again in her head as she slowly reached for the glass of water. She grasped the glass weakly in her hand and tried picking it up but could not, laying back down she choked back a sob, out of breath and groaning from the lingering throbbing pain that was consuming her body.

Tears formed in her eyes, threatening to escape. Her eyes were already bloodshot and incredibly sore, it almost hurt to keep them open, she had been crying almost non-stop since the attack. She glanced down at her crippled body and decided to just let the tears fall, it was useless to deny them.

_Why? Why has this happened to me? What did I do to deserve this?_

The noise of a door slowly opening jolted her from her thoughts and in entered her father – Jim Gordon.

She quickly wiped her teary eyes and gave a small wave, it was difficult in her current condition but she didn't want to appear totally helpless, especially not to her dad.

"Hi Dad…You look worse than me" she croaked out and gave a small grin, the tears were on the verge of spilling out over her face but she would not allow her father to see her like that…She wanted him to see her as the brave, strong, confident Barbara Gordon, his fiery red-headed daughter…The women who used to be Batgirl…Flying from rooftop to rooftop…

_Did he know? Did the Joker know I was Batgirl…Did I put my father in danger?_ She thought as her dad looked at her, a sad expression on his worn face, he looked really bad.

"And that's saying something" she joked, indicating her mop of messy red hair, tear streaked blotchy face and exhausted eyes.

"You look beautiful honey…You always do" he smiles and strokes her hair lovingly. He limps forward and takes a seat in the chair next to her bed and smiles again, trying to stay strong for her.

_How can she be so brave_…_Guess she takes after her mother, _he thinks.

Jim Gordon had suffered greatly at the hands of the Joker after the madman had shot his daughter in the spine, he took him to a funhouse and tortured him horribly, chaining him to one of the parks rides and cruelly forcing him to view giant pictures of his wounded daughter in various states of undress.

He stared at her and then glanced towards the glass of water on the table, his eyes widened slightly and a guilty look crossed his face. Barbara noticed how worn out he looked, his shoulders were hunched over and she could tell he also had been crying.

"Oh…Barb, I'm so sorry" he says as he hands her the glass of water, making sure she can hold it properly, she mumbles a "thank you" and sips at the water, she licks her dry cracked lips and starts to speak, weakly.

"How are you?" she asks groggily, still feeling the effects of the sedatives they had given her earlier.

_How am I…"_Honey how are you"? he answered.

_Typical, throwing the question back at me_. "Dad, I'm doing…Better, it's hard but I'm coping, I wanna know how you are, I'm worried about you…" she sighed.

"Oh sweetie don't worry about me, I'm doing alright, it's my fault your in here…I'm sorry" he replies sadly and reaches for her hand, he holds it and gives it a delicate kiss.

She looks at him, stunned.

_What's he…What's he going on about, he has nothing to be sorry for!_ She thinks and snatches her hand away angrily.

A look of pure anger crosses her face, it's been building for a while. She won't have him be like this, he didn't shoot her spine out, it's not his fault. She won't stand by and watch her father beat himself up because of that bastard clown.

She grabs his hand back and squeezes it hard; he looks at her intently, surprised by her strength.

"Dad…You have NOTHING to be sorry for…It wasn't your fault, it was him, it was the Joker, HE did this to me! Blame him dad blame him!" she shouts as loudly as she can in her weak fragile condition. She tries to hold back more tears.

He takes his hand away and stands up, angry.

"I know goddammit! But that bullet was meant for _me_! He came to _our _house to shoot _me_, it's all _my_ fault, it should be _me_ lying in that bed, you don't deserve this Barbara!" He screams, breathing heavily.

"Oh…Barb…I'm so…" he says quietly, ashamed by his outburst.

"Don't! Don't say your sorry" she whispers and motions for him to sit down again.

He strokes her face gently and she leans into his touch – a father's touch.

"Dad please, I don't blame you…The Joker's a lunatic, he doesn't care who he hurts and you can't keep blaming yourself! I need you daddy…" she says quietly and tears fall freely from her eyes again. Her voice weak and painful.

He moves forward and embraces her in a tight hug.

"I love you Barbara" he says into her ear.

She smiles as the tears fall onto his jacket and looks up at his face, her sore tear stained eyes filled with love for her father, all the pain she was feeling earlier fades away as she looks at him…Really looks at him.

"I love you too"

THE END

What do you think? I know it's short and everything but hope yee liked, appreciate reviews, good or bad.


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